I, Raijin, am a hard-core gamer and a wee bit introverted. I take that back: I am a big-ass anti-social human being. That’s an oxymoron right there. “Human being” and “anti-social” are supposedly apart.
So why am I like this? For starters I have a weird name. Everybody had “Brian”, “John”, “Arthur” and etc, but my dad, who’s already dead, decided to give me a rather peculiar name. Gee, thanks dad. You made my social life miserable. And the social life is literally school life and I just failed it due to your nice job on naming me. Read “Naming your kids some good fucking names 101” please, compiled by “normal fucking people”.
Oh hey, let’s have a peek at my past. Oh wow, all I can see is me being shunned by everybody else as I weep in the corner. There’s six year old me celebrating my birthday with me and my mom and no other people or friend or relative. Where the heck were my relatives that time? Oh look, there’s also nine year old me finding my mom trying to sneak a present under the Christmas tree.
Ah, I can’t seem to find what I need. Oh there we are: four years ago.
“Mom?” I asked my mother with such cute and innocent voice.
“Why is my name weird? Why can’t I have a proper and normal name like everyone else?”
“Part of that is because your dad was an idiot”
Oh wow, I knew it.
“But most of it is that your name suits your personality.”
“But mom, what does it actually mean?”
“That’s for you to find out.”
She smiled at me before I ended the flashback in my mind. Man, what does “Raijin” mean? But I guess it’s a foreign name. Dad wasn’t actually from here but he never did tell me where he came from. Rather he didn’t want me to know at all.
In a room where the only light was from the screen of a computer, a young boy named Raijin stood up and stretched his arms. He then turned on the lights on his own room and beheld a spectacular disaster of clothes and comics lying everywhere.
I should stop doing imagining that narrator, that’s kind of creepy now that I think about it.
Oh come on, you’ve been doing this since you locked yourself up here.
I kind of regret it now since I can’t stop imagining a voice coming out of nowhere.
Don’t mind me then.
How on earth can I possibly not mind you?
. . .
I can see an imaginary silhouette of a shadow shrugging you know.
So you guys already know about this dude living in my brain. Rather than my brain, it’s living in my mind.
You do realize you’re not supposed to talk to them right?
Same goes to you moron.
Oh shut it.
I checked my PC to look at the time: it was 03:28 in the morning. I need to stop this kind of lifestyle, its reducing my lifespan.
I make my way downstairs to grab myself a nice cold can of energy drink. Beer would be nice if only I was four more years older. I took the can upstairs together with a bag of chips and sat on my desk.
I turned my lights off and proceeded to the front lines. I wore my helmet (headphones), held my shield (keyboard), and held my sword (mouse) to enter the virtual world.
But it turns out I literally entered the game, holy cow.
Ancient Ruins: an MMORPG game with very high graphics and awesome battles. The game revolves around a big gigantic kingdom that was believed to be the civilization of magic users. But the kingdom was attacked by an unknown force that lay waste on its lands.
A young magician who was determined to save his kingdom attempted to summon a being not from his universe to be their salvation and defeat the intruder. But the mage died while still in process of summoning.
Many centuries later, the mage’s magic affinity was scattered around his corpse and wa
s completely erased. But it created a portal that was infinitely powered and was enough to fit a man.
There, the savior of the world was supposed to be coming from. But I came from that hole right there and I’m not the savior-type of person.
Here I am experiencing the game’s lore first-hand. A serene setting of ruins with overgrown trees and greenery wrapping around everything: the very sight I see after I logged in on the game
Here I am in a magical dimension with only the default free sword and the other sword that I can never wield at monsters. Literally nothing else.
Then a fucking wolf attacks.
Hey, GMs! I want my level 94 Assassin back with my cool little katana that steals stamina and agility from enemies I hit.
Game sense ladies and gentlemen: what do you do when you face a mob? You run for your dear life. And I did. Until I bumped on a tree and fell on a hole and-
A sharp pain comes from my knee that makes me groan and fall down my chair. I groan and curse some more until I find the strength to stand up because the pain made my whole body shiver.
“What are you still doing?” My mom shouts from the kitchen. “Get ready for school.”
Oh right school. I never attended since the first day which was a week ago.
After a few brief moments and I already began to hear heavy footsteps that were on its way to my room. After the footsteps stop, my door slams three times and my lovely mother yells at me with considerate words that will encourage me to come to school:
“If you don’t get out of there I will drag your ass all the way to school.”
Oh she did drag me. Only until the table though, she was too embarrassed to drag me in the streets.
And so I was forced out of my house to enter a building where in we are also forced to learn shit that 99.99% of it will never be applied in our jobs in the future. But that’s not all, the main depressing part of high school is that your social status matters so every single high school student tries to put up a nice front and you’re going to have a good social high school life if you force yourself to do these stylish, trendy stupid things and that matters even more than grades because the teacher always gives extra credit and attention to their favorites and I want to go home now because I hate this godforsaken place for people like me who do not want to meet new people because they might be too unique which annoys me. That hell-hole is full of selfish retards.
Just as I was about to turn around, my caring mommy’s warm words caressed my soul that it scared the living shit out of me and made me go to school. You don’t want to hear it, trust me.
I didn’t attend school for a week, it was a given that I will be noticed by everyone. I hate this kind of attention.
I proceed to my classroom swiftly and made my way towards a free seat at the back and settled in. Alright, people avoided! Great job me.
You’re so pitiful, are you aware if that?
Yes I am, imaginary narrator. Man, I didn’t realize that it would be this crowded.
Your definition of crowded is obviously different from how normal people use the word.
That’s probably the only thing we have agreed on so far.
I’m a figment of your imagination. It’s supposed to be a given that we are always agreeing.
Hate to break it to you but your logic is inapplicable to me.
The bell rang and the students dispersed and settled down in their respective seats. Some of them, after a couple of minutes or so, came from outside and returned to their seats.
And now that everybody has stopped talking and stuff-
No wait, they’re not shutting up.
They’re whispering at each other. That’s kind of annoying; their whispers are as loud as a grenade.
Ah, they’re probably talking about that kid who showed up for the first time: me. HEY, IF YOU WHISPER MAKE IT SURE THAT NOBODY ELSE CAN HEAR IT DIPSHITS.
“Everybody settle down,” A middle aged man came in. “class is starting.”
Mission: How long can I stay awake: commence. Timer starts now.
“Okay, next one is~”
As the teacher was taking attendance, I gaze away from everything and watch the scenery outside from the window which was only a few decimeters away from me.
“A… yi.. Err, how do you pronounce this…”
“Aisaka. Pronounced as ‘aysaka’. And that is my surname; please call me using my given name.”
I helped the teacher a few moments after attempting to state my name.
“It’s good that you’re here now.”
I turn my glance back when the teacher began to have troubles again.
“Clarissa? Err, looks like she’s not here-“
The door slams open revealing a girl trying to catch her breath. Okay, what? I have no idea myself.
“Clarissa…. Hah…. Pre…. Present!”
I’m giving only 9 points. Though her entrance was great, she didn’t deliver her lines right. I’d give her 8.
The teacher, who looked like he saw a ghost, asked her to go to her seat.
But where exactly is her seat? I looked around only to find that the only free seat was right beside me. Ah shit, here I thought I was going to be alone.
She walks through the center of the class. Everybody’s eyes were glued on her until she reached her seat and started to talk to me.
“Trade seats with me.”
“Let me think about it – no.”
Her eyes started to look like the wolf I dreamt about a while ago. Yikes, please don’t cut my sword.
“I’ll drag your butt off of that seat if I have to.”
“Hey now, shush your barking.”
A few minutes of intense staring and the teacher didn’t even flinch. He’s a coward like you. I just dissed a girl, now hush.
She slams her bag unto her assigned seat and sat frustrated. Looks like I pissed her off good.
Yeah, you’re gonna get a beating after class. You realize that right?
I’m a shut-in, how can I fight?
Wait till you see the news. Headline: Shut-in was beaten to death by a young girl in his class.
An hour of educational boredom later, she tried to provoke me.
“Hey, you’re that guy who wouldn’t come to school right?”
“Yeah, proclaim it for me will you?”
Ohoho, I can hear her mumbling: she’s getting really pissed off at me.
“What, you have mommy issues?”
I suddenly stood up, alarming her and everybody else crowded.
“N-Now w-wh-what? C-co-coward!”
Her voice trembled. Her eyes were pitiful as if she was seeing something unsightly. Oh yeah, that would be me.
I raise both of my arms sideward and she gasped with an instantaneously bright blush flushing her face.
“They say dogs tend to be scared at something bigger than them.”
I turned to crowds and continued to pick on her. I can’t believe I’m having so much fun. I can’t believe you’re bullying a girl who is now trembling and was one third of a meter shorter than you.
“Ladies and gents, I just proved that. Clap for our doggy here!”
A large guffaw echoed through the classroom; so was loud clapping and cheering piercing through my ears.
I might’ve gone too far? No shit Sherlock.
Everybody started to move away from us since the skit was over. As for Ms. Clarissa, she sat quietly like a whimpering puppy. Wow, she can be innocent-looking if she shuts up.
Are you a sadist?
No, she was just annoying so I had to do it. I did the right thing, she tried to humiliate me.
What the fuck? You really need to spend some time socializing; you just fucking hurt her.
She did me first.
Stop acting like a kid and apologize.
I let off a sigh. Shit, why am I apologizing? And why am I conceding to myself?
I pat her head and whispered in her ear.
“Let’s eat lunch together as an apology. I’ll treat you.”
I didn’t get a response after a while. She finally nods after a couple of minutes. She’s seriously like a dog to me right. She forgave me when I offered food! But I’m not exactly sure how to be with a dog. Heck I don’t even know how to be with humans except for convenience store clerks and my mother.
Hmm, this is going to be rough.
Why are you so bothered?
You forced me to be bothered dumbass.
Another one- bites the dust? Would you shut up? I was talking.
Another one hour of discussion has passed. Hey, I’m still awake. That makes about two hours now!
“Hey, what’s your name? Mine’s-”
“Clarissa, yes I know.”
I interrupted her introduction because I already knew what she was about to say. I looked at her to see her facial expression. Surprisingly she’s still composed. I thought she’d explode at me at any minute now.
“So… What’s yours?”
She looked puzzled. I think that’s what most people would do when they hear weird names. Would it kill you to stop doing those comments? Yes. Go die.
I added as I shrugged off how annoying it is when I have to introduce myself.
“It’s one heck of a weird name.”
My whole world halted when I heard those words. My body trembled and shivers down my spine… In a good way (?).
“That’s one way to sugarcoat it I guess.”
“I wasn’t sugarcoating it though.”
After which there were a couple minutes of dead and awkward air.
Clarissa says with a red flushed face. Woah, why the red face? Don’t look at me! Oh wait, I can’t be looked at…
It looks like she hasn’t moved an inch.
She stopped and breathed slowly.
“Treat me this break time too! I demand it!”
She then slammed her hands on top of my table and yelled in my face.
How can we escape this?
I have no idea.
Oh, I was thinking the same thing. Shit
Now she’s shy. Mind games?
This is ridiculous.
“Oh, who would’ve thought that you forgot your wallet on the way to school?”
We were walking down the hallway where kids were playing around, flirting or making quite a ruckus.
Last time I read the rule book it said no chaos in the halls.
The only people who are now quiet are me and Clarissa. I want to be a rule breaker too and burn the school to the ground.
And Clarissa is… not a single word huh.
Dumbass, look at her face.
Oh, she your type?
Yeah she’s pretty and busty. No, wait that’s not the point. She’s blushing.
Busty? Hey what the fuck?
“Hey, you’ve been quiet for the longest time since we knew each other.”
You might hurt her feelings… again. What the fuck are you blabbering about?
“Shut up! It’s because…”
“I’m sorry what? I couldn’t hear-“
A straight upper cut: this is what Ayasaki Raijin received from her classmate Clarissa as he leans in for him to hear Clarissa clearly.
What the hell did I do wrong?
Invasion of personal space, sexual harassment, being a total loser… what else…
You’re just being an asshole.
My head was forcibly faced to the ceiling. The force pushed me back a couple of steps. The punch was so powerful that I had to lean on the wall to balance myself.
“What the heck was that for!?”
I retorted to the girl who punched me who was still in her cool after-punch pose as I caress my freshly bruised chin.
“D-d-do-don’t mess with mm-m-mme!”
Clarissa turns her back on me as she verbally abuses me.
“Stop trying to smell my shampoo!”
Everybody’s glare and snarl were focused on me.
“Hey, don’t try to make a commotion here.”
“I know my shampoo smells nice but you don’t have the right to smell it. Hmp!”
Karma is a bitch. Now you’re the one humiliated in public. Oh, I’ll pay her back with a present tied in a red ribbon. Oh dear…
“I’m sorry I pissed you off earlier. Now come on before I change my mind in treating you.”
She then came to my side happily and skipping as we move to the canteen.
She is seriously like a dog.
Wanna keep her?
I’m calling the cops: A pervert wants to cage a young maiden.
You’re ranting yourself to you know.
This is why I hate you.
“This is nice.”
We were eating next to a tree in the school yard.
The small but quite lovely greenery of the school gives a country side feel that makes you relax.
“Eating in a place like this cleanses my soul.”
“You know the phrase ‘Money is the root of all evil?’”
“You cleansed the existing evil in my wallet, thanks.”
Clarissa laughs it off as she eats a meal for two people. I only got a candy bar and she got a meal. For two people. With a carton of milk.
“Now how am I supposed to treat you to lunch now?”
And now she panics. That’s something. She is seriously like a pet dog you need to take care of.
“Soh wai wiyer uys”
“Swallow. Swallow before talking. You wasted all of my money for that food, eat it properly.”
She took almost two seconds to swallow her food.
“So why weren’t you attending school for the past wekk?”
“I’m too lazy to go to school.”
My response literally silenced her.
I bit on my candy bar when she suddenly took it from me and yelled in my face. Again. Let’s make a bet: I think she’ll shout at you for more than three times later. You’re on
“What do you mean lazy?”
“I mean lazy.”
I try to take my candy bar back but she kept distancing herself from me so I decided to just give up and lay down on the grass.
She then stuffed it in my mouth together with the wrapper whilst stating such stupidity that will change the history of my whole life both as a gamer and as a student.
“It’s a pain but I can’t help it.”
Proclaimed Clarissa the wanna-be.
“I’ll help you study!”
Don’t tell me your grades are failing again.
Hey, I swear on my computer, I passed every subject. Even if it was in the brink of failing.
You’re supposed to be smart you know, you memorized a book at the age of four and read it even though it was upside down.
Supposed to be.
Why are you trying so hard to be a retard?
It’s because being smart is tiring.
“Last time I checked my grades were in the safe zone.”
“Safe zone my ass, you almost failed math!”
“Hey, I hate math. And how the hell did you know my grades?”
“I know a guy.”
“Makes total sense, really.”
The bell echoed throughout the school and demanded every student to go back to their class.
Clarissa walked casually, pretending to not hear me as I complain and explain about every single detail on the topic “Why I hate studying”.
“I don’t care, okay? We’re going to stay in your room this afternoon. Then we switch to my room the next day.”
Clarissa finally responded to me just before the classroom door, leaving me behind as she made that grand exit that was supposed to leave me to bits. It wasn’t bad acting you know. I wouldn’t give her an Oscar though.
And so two more hellish hours and the holy lunch break finally descended upon us.
Oh wait shit, It’s going to be worse than hell.
I can’t hear a single thing.
“Hey~ Time for lunch!”
She pulled me by the arm and dragged me outside the classroom.
“Noooo, I don’t have enough savings to buy the latest game everybody was talking about!”
I tried to grab onto anything I could: the tables, the chairs and my classmates. But it looks like the girl has gorilla arms and resistance was futile. I believe this is the first uncomfortable drag we had. Indeed it is.
After we came out of the canteen, my wallet was dying and whispering its last words:
“Remember me when I was still full…! Remember…!”
As the life from my trusty wallet drains out ever slowly yet so painful, it forces my eyes to shed some tears.
It had a great run.
It was our first wallet.
“Raijin” was stitched at the bottom part of it.
A long silence fell upon the mind of young Ayasaki Raijin.
Oh well, guess it’s done for.
We will miss you.
Meanwhile, in our universe…
Clarissa lets out a loud burp and still continues to eat.
“Hey, pay your respects to the leather you murdered.”
“Shaf a sheyf tlip.”
“Swallow the food, damn it.”
She swallows her food and clarifies her statement.
“May it reach Valhalla and once again battle ravaging monsters for the sake of Asgard when Ragnarok lays waste on the nine realms!”
“By ravaging monsters you meant people like you, right?”
She went back to chewing, ignoring my existence.
The lunch break seems to make a crack in my soul.
It breaks a bit of it, reminding me of how painful my childhood was.
But it lets tranquility seep in as if my heart was trying to make me accept those painful memories and move on.
Well, until a question for Clarissa popped in my head.
“Hey ,what you said a while back during break time,”
She was chewing. Will she even stop chewing that piece of meat? Yes she will; it’s just that she stuff another one in her mouth minutes later.
“Are you really going to teach me at my place later in the afternoon?”
“Yup, as soon as school ends.”
“Then I guess you can’t.”
“What do you mean I can’t?
“I don’t want to.”
I stood up and went back to class, leaving Clarissa who chose to eat instead of trying to force me to extra classes. Which was fine, but the thought of her being that gluttonous bothered me.
I went back to my seat in my class.
Nothing much happened there huh.
Nope, I mean come on. I do not want to learn math.
You don’t seem to want to learn anything else anyway.
Besides, I don’t want to be so close to her.
And why is that, Mr. Introvert of the Year?
She has the aura that makes me talk.
You mean she’s friendly.
Hey, how should I know the word “friendly”? I’m not the most sociable person.
Neither is she.
Then why is she trying to get closer to me.
Dude, like I have the slightest idea: we have the same thinking.
Anyway, I don’t want to get involved with her with anything. AT. ALL.
Good luck with that.
After that mental conversation with myself that sounded so weird (Maybe I should refer to him as another person), I started to notice the groups who formed during lunch.
Those girls who are on the back left of the room are mostly the not-so-good-looking girls, but still bitchy and so annoying.
Those dudes in the middle are the “cool kids” who talk about baseball and ride their skateboards that chicks dig and what other dudes think is cool which I personally don’t. That doesn’t mean I’m not a boy, so please don’t think of me that way.
The kids next to Clarissa’s seat were the book-loving nerds. You know: glasses, braces and the lot. If I wasn’t anti-social, I’d hang out with them.
Oh yeah, you love to read books. Yes I do. Why not read educational books. Shut the fuck up.
Oh yeah, I forgot about the most dangerous pack where they wear thick makeup and those modified uniforms. Some of them are tanned but all of them have this stupid annoying high-pitched voice that literally makes my veins in the head pop out: the gals.
Oh how I hate those kinds of girls.
Oh, the normal kids are scattered though. I only identify those “special” cases where I need to avoid or accept them in certain situations. When the normal-tier kids talk to me, it’s like talking to the lady at the counter of the convenience store.
“Hey! ~ You left me alone!”
Clarissa yelled from the door.
Obviously everybody’s attention would shift towards her.
But then the fire dies and they mind their own businesses.
Oh right, I forgot about that bet.
She walked her way through the rowdy cool-dudes and to her seat right next to me.
“So, what do you want?”
Well, I was annoyed on how she was still following me. So I decided that I try to shake her off.
I turned to her but her face showed a “what-are-you-talking-about” that was also a semi-smug which, yet again, annoyed the living crap out of me.
“Why are you still following me?”
Ah, I raised my voice a tad too much.
“Um… Because um… I thought that, um… We were friends…”
What the heck is she talking about with pitiful, puppy-eyes? I have no idea.
“I guess we’re not huh…”
She lets off a deep sigh as she faces her desk and plants her face on it and lets of another sigh.
“What do you mean friends?”
<I don’t want to be friends with you.>
“Don’t you have a lot of people to talk to?”
<I mean, get away from me.>
“Yeah, but they’re not interesting.”
She suddenly stands up, pushing her chair backwards.
She walks towards me and leans forward, making out faces only a few inches apart.
“But you, sir, are veeeeeeeeeery interesting.”
I couldn’t tell if I was blushing or not, but I was flustered. Very flustered.
The way her glasses droop down as she stares at me revealed brown beautiful eyes that matched her hair.
Her hair engulfs me as well, with her scent drowning me in pleasure.
“Y-yeah, sure I am.”
I answered after studying her pretty face that was before mine.
“Yes you are indeed.”
She pulled back and finally returned my sanity.
Holy shit dude, what was that?
It was like a clear dark night sky with stars above.
It was like the ambience of the silent lake together with the lively forest.
It was like the sunrise where the wind blows cold on your face and birds sing as a new day begins.
It was like how the pearls glimmered and shined deep down into the sea.
Holy shit, what was that?
I do not know dude. The unknown infuses my excitement and anxiety.
I cannot comment anything else.
“Well, it looks like people formed their groups.”
She looked around the room where everybody was chatting to people who were exclusive in their circle.
“I can feel the intensity of social life in that area.”
She gestured towards the gal group.
Guess we both have something in common.
You mean hating bitchy girls?
That’s one way to phrase it.
That’s the only way to phrase it.
Stop, you’re killing me.
“Oh, welcome to the gal-hating society,”
I reached my hand out to her and tried to initiate a nice little act.
“I, Raijin, am the president and the only member of GHS.”
I smile like a business man fixing my invisible tie as she giggles and plays along.
“Would you like to join my circle?”
She then held my hand that melted in hers.
“Hi there Pres, my name’s Clarissa and yes I will happily join your circle.”
After exchanging awkward smiles at each other, we suddenly burst into laughter.
Who would’ve thought that conversing with a person was this fun?
Um, everybody who is thinking normally? Socially speaking.
Stop making us look like were a doing comedy-duo shit.
Don’t you think that your life is some kind of bad joke and I’m the one delivering it?
Hey, you’re seriously ruining my only happy conversation since Mom Santa.
Stop naming your mother when dressed as Santa.
Then shut it dude.
Time passes as I talk with a unique person. I could get used to talking to people like this.
Well, that stuff ends as soon as the bell rings and demands us to prepare for class.
Ah shite, next is Calculus. I do not want this. Please. Let. Me. Out.
The class, still rowdy and annoying, was silenced by our female teacher.
She was probably at her mid-twenties and probably a virgin.
I sighed in pity when she saw a glimpse of me.
It looked like the message written on my face was accidentally sent to her and now she’s depressed. Oops?
Class starts… and it’s boring as hell.
There are still two more hours of listening to that crap its making me lose my mind.
A piece of paper landed on my desk.
About the size of a ping pong ball, it was crumpled to a little ball so I had to open it to read what’s inside.
“Isn’t it that schools are sort of similar to prisons?”
Thus begins our paper tossing chat. This is your first experience in this. I’m so sorry for being a total loner.
R: “How come?”
C: “You know, how the bells order us to go to our classes, lunch break and the stuff.”
R: “The students are the prisoners and the teachers are the wardens?”
R: “I mean I seldom attend school so I never thought that I was bound by these rules.”
C: “I think that’s unfair.”
The teacher looks back at us as I try to play dumb with a “please-continue” face on while hiding Clarissa’s paper mail to me.
R: “Wanna skip with me?”
C: “I’m good. I’ll drag your ass to school though.”
She wrote a little smiley face just after that last sentence. I wonder if she was trying to be nice or trying to scare the living crap out of me. Either way that’s kind of… what was the term? It starts with a C… Cue? Whatevs.
As I was about to reply to her with a grin on my face, I noticed, on the corner of my eyes, the silhouette of a lady: of course it was our teacher.
The teacher snarled at both of us.
“You guys are dating?”
The class was suddenly filled with this atmosphere where we couldn’t breathe from the embarrassment. Everybody was cheering and making unnecessary sounds that were making us unnecessarily uncomfortable.
“I mean, I never had a boyfriend. How should I know?”
Everybody stopped and looked at her when she staggered towards the teacher’s table.
It looked like she was drained from her energy when she hugged her knees sitting in her chair.
“You know, dating at age 24 when you had no experience whatsoever can really be stressful. You see hunks and you go gaga for them but you have no idea what you’re going to do to get them. Then you try to captivate them with whatever charm I have and everything fails because I’m ugly and I’m fat and-”
Everybody fell in silence as the sorrowful woman who had no luck in her love life kept on blabbering about adult circumstances for the rest of the period.
The toxicity of her depression got to us all and just started to feel like we wanted to die at that moment.
“Should we get her a boyfriend?”
I have received another paper mail.
I looked towards Ms. Single over there and she was too busy mumbling stuff that she’s not paying attention towards us. As if she needs to: every single person except you two are dead inside. Hey, stop killing them.
R: “Like who?”
C: “This certain and specific situation requires the social media, old geezer.”
R: “Oh I’m sorry. I’m anti-social remember?”
C: “That’s just sad.”
R: “We’re skipping the study time then?”
C: “We’re doing it AFTER we study.”
Damn, those bold and underlined letters hit my heart. It pierced through our very soul.
In the background, everyone started to chat since the teacher wasn’t even attentive.
R: “But how do we even make her want to go boy hunting when she tried and failed once?”
C: “Trust me; women have complicated ways of thinking that only we women can understand.”
So half of our species are aliens? Hey, stop blabbering nonsense.
I stopped replying to her and just threw a piece of crumpled paper towards her which hit her head and annoyed her.
She had that face where you look really pissed.
“You know, she’s not even paying any attention in her surroundings. Stop wasting paper.”
“Okay green thumb retard.”
Okay, now what?
What do you mean now what?
You’re now talking to her in person with that shitty excuse of not wasting paper.
Hey, how was it my idea? It was yours to begin with.
How can we possibly have two different thought processes when we only exist in one mind?
Exactly. Meaning you thought of it as well.
Now that’s next level mind games.
Okay seriously: now what?
Hey, how should I know?
It has been a couple of minutes and we have been staring at each other’s faces.
“Are you going to say something?”
“Bring some snacks later, yeah?”
She didn’t mean to but she forcibly changed the topic.
It kinda felt like she wanted to help me out in that awkwardness.
“Our fridge is always full with snacks.”
I answered with superiority in my voice.
“I don’t want to go out in the middle of the night to buy snacks in the convenience store.”
She looked at me with a puzzled face.
“When I play all night.”
The period was up and our next teacher, Mr. Mediocre, dragged her out.
He looked so plain that you would mistake him for a wall.
I can’t even describe his face in a detailed way. It’s just too plain.
Looking at him, he looks like he’s around the age of the math teacher as well.
The noise finally settled and everyone returned to their seats.
I threw another ball of paper towards Clarissa since I couldn’t talk to her with the new teacher preparing his stuff, ending our conversation for now.
I looked towards the teacher to avoid being suspected of being inattentive which I am always guilty of.
He kept sighing though.
Probably because he’s tired?
I doubt it.
Probably because you went to school?
That, I don’t doubt.
Or probably he likes the calculus teacher and is still single, waiting for the right moment all these years?
Your way of thinking is too creative dude.
“I’m sorry for that ruckus.”
The teacher says with an awkward smile.
“But don’t worry! She’s a good teacher.”
Oof, you’re probably right.
I mean he’s trying to tell us her good points even though it’s none of his business.
Don’t assume that shit: they’re probably just close friends.
Being close friends makes the one of the fall for the other. I think. This is in accordance to the RomComs I have watched so far.
You never had close friends, so shut up.
Oh, point taken.
“Please take care of her, okay?”
Due to the fact that I have no idea whatsoever about friends, I asked Clarissa via paper mail that hit her head again and was seriously pissed off at me.
I wrote to her: “Hey, you think we can hook him up with her? The calculus teacher I mean.”
I turned back towards the teacher.
After a few seconds, paper mail went flying and hit my head.
C: “What makes you say that?”
R: “How protective that guy is towards her?”
It took a while for her to send her reply.
C: “Now that you think about it…”
R: “Is that okay? I have no idea how friends or relationships work so guide me on this one.”
C: “If they were friends then it’s going to be hard. Especially when they’re close friends. Like a friend from high school.”
R: “And why is that?”
C: “She probably didn’t see him as a man.”
I can’t understand anything, but my intuition was correct. I’m proud of you dude.
R: “So that dude likes him huh…”
C: “We’re going to dig some info about him later at your place. WE NEED TO LISTEN TO HIM FOR NOW.”
Seriously, what’s up with those underlined words? She even stroked so many times that emphasized the sentence.
After that boring literature class – no wait, it was actually fun.
For a shut-in like me, it is quite rare for me to have fun in school.
But I did.
Shakespeare is a genius! I’m going to read some stuff about him later.
I grabbed my pack and was ready to leave when Clarissa suddenly appeared in front of me. Oh right, studying.
“Let’s head to a convenience store first.”
She then tugged on my arm and pulled me towards the exit of the door until the school gates. She’s seriously enjoys tormenting you huh. You meant us.
This is actually rare too.
I’m walking side by side with a girl towards a place. I spent my whole life walking alone. When I was still learning to walk, my mom was too busy with work that I learned alone. I don’t even know how that was possible, but it was in my case.
“So what stuff are we going to buy then?”
“As long as I don’t have to spend any more money I don’t even care.”
I need to at least save the last few bucks I have.
“It was your own fault: you wanted to atone for your sin by treating me to lunch.”
“Lunch. Only. You forced me to treat you with snacks remember? Wait, how can I even call it snacks when it looked like brunch?”
She gasped and tried to search for her wallet.
Oh right, she forgot it.
“We need to go to my place first?”
A guy like me to a girl’s room?
You’re supposed to be lucky.
Like I said: your logic doesn’t apply to me.
So you’re illogical?
As a social person, yes.
Common knowledge doesn’t know your face huh.
As we walk down the sidewalks, the city looked so alive for the first time in many years.
I don’t think it was dead in the first place, but I guess I just never noticed.
The food stands that emitted savory aroma, the students who were in groups and was going in and out of store departments, kids running around, adults with their ties and their head stuck on their phones whilst chatting: it gave off that interactive-feeling I have never wanted nor avoided.
“Wow, aren’t you the gentleman?”
A girl in the same school uniform as us was standing right in front of us.
Her hair was a pony tail that was dyed pink at the end. With blue eyes that was akin to the color of the sea, it was in contrast with her dark and elegant black hair.
“I don’t see a lot of guys like you.”
Wait, why does it looks like I pissed her off?
“I’m your class rep, at least remember my face!”
“We haven’t met you know. And if we did, then I would’ve at least remembered your dyed hair.”
She looks more pissed now. Seriously, what’s wrong with her?
“I never came to school until today, how should I know you?”
She breathes in and out slowly, trying to compose herself and collect her thoughts.
“My name is Brenda. I’m your class rep. Nice to meet you.”
She reaches for my hand and I shook it.
A long awkward silence.
How much does a name change cost? Don’t even dream about it with Clarissa draining the life out of your wallet.
She finally broke the atmosphere.
“Yup. It’s weird, I know.”
She forcibly changed the topic. The hell.
“It’s nice to see a proper gentleman.”
I turned around to see how she was talking about.
“It’s you moron.”
“Walking on the part of the sidewalk close to the road, matching the girl’s pace: that’s modern chivalry.”
What the heck is this person talking about?
Ask me again, I might know.
Okay: what the heck-
Of course I don’t know dumbass.
But isn’t that mom always told me to do these things.
Yup. And this is the first time you have ever applied it.
“Isn’t that common knowledge? To be that way I mean.”
“Nope. With your ignorance about guys being jerks, you made it look cooler and manlier. You’re one of the rare gentlemen… jerks.”
“I’m still a jerk either way?”
“All men are assholes.”
She ended her sentence as if it was a quotation from someone famous.
“It’s quite funny since your girlfriend here was enjoying it.”
I gazed upon her for the first time since we were walking and she was blushing. I’m confused.
“Not my girlfriend. And we have to go.”
I walked passed her, holding Clarissa arm towards me to escape her… whatever she wants to identify me as.
“Damn, what’s up with that girl?”
She’s not responding. Normally she would be “I don’t know, blah blah blah”. But she’s quiet. Too quiet.
“Hey, you okay?”
Before I could get a glimpse of her face, she yelled directly at my face like a madman. I guess that makes her a madwoman?
What did you do?
How should I know? Everything I do is wrong in her eyes.
She suddenly ran away from me.
Obviously, I ran after her shouting her name.
After a minute has passed, I’m already walking. I’m not athletic, that’s obvious. But luckily she stopped too.
She entered an apartment building across the road.
Oh well, I guess I’ll wait for her in the lobby.
Raijin, we have been waiting here for thirty minutes and she’s still not here.
Ah, oh right.
Would it kill you to stop playing in your phone?
What if she’s not coming back?
I doubt it. She forced me in this situation.
The elevator made a bell sound, announcing the arrival of someone from upstairs.
When the elevator doors opened, there she was in her casual clothes.
Jeans, hoodie with a gray shirt inside, sneakers and no makeup: wait a minute, this is the first time I have ever seen a girl without wearing any dress, skirt, and make-up whatsoever.
She approached me with that awkward but delighted smile.
“Shall we get going, my gentleman?”
She started calling me a gentleman.
She started calling you a gentle man.
What does that mean?
I have no clue.
“You look good.”
I said in response.
The compliment made her smile a bit wider. It was as if she was happy with my compliment.
Is anyone supposed to be unhappy when complimented?
When the compliment is sarcastic.
Other than that you numbskull.
I don’t know dude. I mean my mom always told me I looked good every time I dress up. It just got coded in my head that I should compliment anybody who dresses up.
If you weren’t such an anti-social moron you would be a popular guy.
I doubt it.
I cleared my throat and held my hand towards her whilst I bowed down a bit.
“Let me be your escort, fair lady.”
Her smile was now like the sole star that emitted radiance in the dark and lonely sky. Together with that slightly blushed face, I was flustered like hell.
It didn’t make my heart beat faster: it made my heart beat stronger
She took my hand and we went out of the lobby with the public either awing or being annoyed by us.
Wait, why are they annoyed?
Of you, being either a fine gentleman or getting the girl.
Okay, my brain hurts. I don’t want to learn about society.
I wonder what’ll happen if society learns about you though.
We got to the convenience store right next to my house.
The clerk whom I see every day was surprised when she saw me together with Clarissa.
“My, my. You have one cute girlfriend there, Raijin.
“Ahaha, half of what you said is true.”
Obviously, Clarissa wasn’t saying a single word probably due to embarrassment.
We got out of the store with Sheena, the clerk, giving me a free condom.
“You never know when you need it. You must always be prepared!” Or so she says.
Why was she even feeling proud when she gave me the contraceptive? Damn.
Clarissa tried to open up a conversation to break the ice. Hey, she said my name for the first time.
“What did you mean by half true?”
“Oh you mean the ‘cute girlfriend’ thing?”
“You’re not my girlfriend,”
I looked at her in the eyes when she was waiting for my response.
“but you’re cute.”
I smiled at her.
The always rowdy, annoying and brutal Clarissa was now staring at me with that red filled face whilst being cute as she tries to stare me down.
But in the end she forcibly looked away.
“Yeah, I know that much.”
Hehehe, what a surprising side of her.
We walk towards my place as the sky was beginning to turn orange.
The sun was ready to sleep. And as its light dies, our souls start to catch each other and intertwine. It was as if our strings of fate were attached manually by our own little handiwork.
“Mom, I’m home. Brought a friend.”
Suddenly, pots, spoons, forks, whatever that has metal suddenly came crashing down making a loud clatter that echoed throughout the house.
“Just a second!”
My mom, whom I found some excitement from her voice, shouted at us.
A minute was spent with those fallen things placed back to their original positons.
Another minute was spent with her changing since I heard footsteps at our stairs.
“Why does your house’s stairs make so much noise?”
Clarissa asked me because she was already cowering in fear behind me.
“I don’t know. It has always been like that.”
A few moments later, my mom finally emerged from the door.
She was dressed… wait what the fuck?
She was dressed like she was going to a 80’s themed party held by someone in our neighborhood.
“Mom, what are you doing?”
She winked at me rather than explaining why she was wearing high heels.
Clarissa, who dumb-founded on why my mom looked that way, wanted to say something.
“Nice to meet you ma’am.”
She was really shy and probably too embarrassed or too confused to what was happening.
“My name is Clarissa.”
My mom’s eyes gleamed for some reason.
“My my, Raijin. You got a girlfriend after attending a day at school?”
Clarissa here flinched.
“It makes me remember how your father used to be.”
“I never knew dad you know.”
I retorted cautiously as I gestured Mom that Clarissa and I should go to my room.
“And we’re here to fix my grades. Apparently, she saw my grades last year.”
“Oh, then come in, come in.”
All three of us entered and we, Clarissa and I exclusively, made our way to my room.
But before we went upstairs, my mom whispered something in my ear.
“I slipped a condom in your computer table near your mouse, okay?”
I wonder what’s wrong with the people you know.
Upon reaching my room, she suddenly planted her face at my bed and screaming through the sheets. She’s venting out her embarrassment huh…
Wait, why is my room clean?
Your mom probably cleaned it. At supersonic speed.
“You do realize that you’re at my bed right? Oh never mind, I rarely sleep there anyway.”
“That’s good then.”
She sat up and lied down on my bed.
“Why aren’t you sleeping here? It’s so comfortable.”
As she was hugging and submerging her body in my bed, I have thought of a nice prank.
Oh no, she might kick your ass you know.
Oh who cares: this is payback from last time.
This is so wrong. And you’re all alone in a room.
Oh I’ll make sure that she’ll be aware of that later.
I jumped to my bed as she shrieked. Cornering her with both of my arms, she was now literally under me.
“You do realize I have a condom with me, right?”
She uses one arm to cover her face and the other to cover her breasts.
Now that I think about it, they’re huge. Holy shit.
She lets another soft shriek as I lean towards her face closer.
I can feel the heat of our bodies infused. But the heat from her breathing was turning me on together with that face that was red as a tomato until her ears.
I lean more to intimidate her. But this time she wasn’t. I was about to fake a kiss when she actually closed her eyes and readied her lips. They look so soft and subtle that I am almost tempted to go for it. My heart was now akin to a bomb, ticking and ticking until its explosion.
Nah please don’t do it.
But they’re so red.
You will regret it.
But it will feel good.
This was supposed to be a prank.
Oh right, thanks for reminding me.
Her blushed face was still covered by her arm when she finally realized she was being pranked.
“Oh you should’ve seen the look on your face!”
I laugh my buttocks out as both of us got up.
“Oh man, that was rich. That was payback from – um, Clarissa?”
I could hear mumbling as she sat there while hugging her legs. Oops?
“Hey are you okay?”
I move in closer to try to at least comfort her since maybe the prank was too much. Yeah, you were even tempted to kiss her. Of course it was too much. Yikes.
The next scene had too much violence that I cannot depict it. But it was when Raijin knew: he fucked up.
“Do this exercise. And then let me take a look at it afterwards.”
She finally forgave me and we started to study. I don’t really see the point of studying even though there were no exams whatsoever.
“Hey, do it! Or I’ll kick your ass again. Literally!”
She did me real good after that prank.
It was too mortifying for her, so I had to actually let her beat the living shit out of me.
My face has bruises, scratches, cuts and band aids all over it. As for my body, it didn’t actually receive that much damage except for the literal ass kicking she did.
“I’m sorry, okay?”
I said as I try to work on the exercise.
“You already beat me so much that I don’t think I can play video games later.”
She had that victorious smug face that I don’t actually mind now.
It was your own damn fault.
Hey, sorry for being such an avenger.
You should’ve listened to me you know. I’m you: how come you’re still not listening?
How many times do I have to tell you that your logic cannot be applied to me?
A million times.
I’m sorry for not being a normal healthy boy.
Speaking of “normal healthy boy”, you had a bone when you pranked her. Right?
Please let’s not talk about this.
Okay. I mean if I were to do that to her, I would definitely have a bone too. If I had a body, that is.
I’m going to fap later.
I want a D.
You sound like a desperate slut, so shut up.
The only things you can hear in my room right now was the sound of my pen against the paper, the air conditioner and my mouse as Clarissa uses my PC to check… whatever she’s checking on the internet.
“Are your grades high?”
I turn to her as I ask her.
“If someone is to tutor me, then at least this person is smarter than I am.”
She gave me this what-are-you-talking-about face.
“My grades are better than yours. According to the guy I know.”
That guy you know is now starting to give me the creeps. Ugu.
I stretch my arms and bend my back after finishing my homework from teacher Clarissa.
She takes a look on my paper and nodded okay. Yes, I’m finally done.
“Now, let’s talk about the single teachers whom we should hook up?”
Teachers? Wait, what teachers?
“Ms. Calc and Mr. Lit.”
No~! I want to play~.
“Here, I found some stuff on the internet.”
Goddamn it, I thought I could finally play Ancient Ruins until dawn.
Well, like I can do anything about it. I need to play along to get this thing done.
“Alright. What do have?”
I grab my table chair and placed it right beside my gaming chair where Clarissa was sitting.
“It looks like they have been friends since high school.”
My intuition was correct! You’re not a girl. Your intuition was pure luck. Obviously.
“So Mr. Brandon has been gazing upon Ms Giselle with love-love eyes since high school?”
“We cannot assume that.”
Says Clarissa as she scrolls down with the mouse wheel.
“But the probability of it is high. Since –“
“Woah waoh, wait! Stop there.”’
I interrupt her when she was scrolling through both of their posts ten years ago.
“There! Right there.”
A picture of Brandon and Giselle. I need to come up with a nickname for them, their names are just…
“They were partners when they had their prom?”
It looks like sociable people like Clarissa cannot look between the lines.
“Let me explain: we can see that Brandon and Giselle were partners. But that doesn’t end there. If it was true that Brandon has a crush on Giselle when they were still kids, then he must’ve looked for a way to confess – prom night. Supposedly. So we shouldn’t focus on them only. We need to look for Brandon’s close friends so we can clarify if he really wanted to partner up with her. I mean, that is obviously not a coincidence.”
I guess the problem with extroverts and interactive people are that they do not think about the motives behind every move.
They are sociable after all. They might always think that every person is showing all of their sides just like they are.
Obviously, people are always hiding something. Be it a good thing or a bad one.
And just as you said, there are good things that people hide like Brandon’s feelings towards Giselle. But there might be some reason behind Giselle’s actions as well.
I doubt it very much. She might just be too dense to understand anything through the covers. She’s similar to Clarissa in a way that she doesn’t suspect anybody of anything.
Let’s hope for that one.
“For a shut-in, you’re quite in-depth when looking at people.”
She was surprised that I said a lot of things about people. It is quite ironic: an introvert that studies people in a weird way.
“For someone who was always shunned and avoided by people, I always think about people’s action.”
For some reason, some of my thoughts and emotions were being forcibly pulled from my soul.
I looked back to Clarissa to find her doing this face. I cannot confirm what her emotions were for some reason now. It has always been like this. I wonder: why is it that this girl is the only person I can never read?
“But you are really awesome! With those readings and stuff.”
Sadness? What does she mean by awesome?
“So… can you read me?”
She asked with a blushing face.
Doubt? Wait, why is she even blushing?
“That’s the weird thing: I can’t read your emotions.”
I responded almost simultaneously.
For some reason my heart wasn’t inside me.
Years have passed and I have locked everything away I have from this world.
But then my heart is in the open.
Vulnerable to any external force.
Why is that?
“That’s weird. How can you not do it to me?”
She giggles as she tries to break the ice.
This is giving me the chills
Are you okay, Raijin?
I am. But at the same time I am not.
Let’s not think about it, yeah?
“So, Brandon’s friends right?”
“Right, look into the friends list he has.”
Ah, what is this?
It is soothing and calm. Serene.
This feeling was new. And it was awesome. But what is it?
In the end we didn’t find anything about Brandon’s plan about the prom night scheme. But we did find out about his friends and that was the only thing we had for now.
Before she went home, we exchanged phone numbers and I waved her goodbye from my door. And there was this feeling and it was bittersweet.
And why is that?
I do not know dude.
Is it good?
Is it bad?
I think it’s dangerous.
Is it now?
Ah, I cannot wait for more danger tomorrow.
Thus ends my first day in high school. Since I only attended a week after the real first day.
And it was also the beginning of something… magical.